Monday, 10 October 2011

Is God interested in me?

Something I have been struggling with a lot is the concept of a God actually interested in us mere humans. So I am dedicating the following week to this very important topic. Everything else follows from this because a God who is just observing and not interfering or loving would never have sent his son to us, never mind coming back from the dead or any of the other miracles described in the bible.
So what do I believe? It's all very confusing in my mind because one the one hand I cannot imagine that someone might be interested in every human there is but on the other hand I have had that conviction before and I wish very much that it was true.
Why God probably doesn't care: Well, the universe is pretty large. There are an unknown but unimaginably large number of galaxies, stars, planets and who knows what else out there and we are just one species of an equally unknown number on one measly little planet. So are we really that important to God? Does he really love us individually, care for us as a father would or isn't he more of an interested observer, possibly laughing at our foibles?
Why he probably does: God is not someone we could possibly understand. His nature is so different from anything we know that it is very much possible for him to love every living creature equally and still be able to be interested in our everyday problems. He created us; he understands us much better than we ever could. Also, and I say this after being very sceptic about it in hindsight, I actually felt loved by God for most of my life. I use to be absolutely secure in his love and care and it was great comfort to me. I once experienced the Holy Spirit and it made me feel very safe.
And yet I doubt. and the thing is, I know exactly why I am doubting. I am a quite reasonable creature and after studying the abundance of life on our planet I really can't argue that the human species is any more or less special than any other species on the planet. And if my species is not special, why would I be?

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